What are we so afraid of?

Updated: May 22

What are we so afraid of? Why is trying something new and unfamiliar such a taboo for some? Especially if what we have done our whole lives doesn’t seem to be working. Then why not try something new?

“I’ve been living this way my whole life.”

“We’ve been living this way for generations.”

“We’ve been living this way since the beginning of time.”

Well, that must be the best way right? Or is it?

If you came to a fork in the road, and everyone in front of you was taking the path to the left, would you be the first to try the path to the right, or would you think there was a bad reason to go right and keep following those in front of you?

But what if the very first person to ever come to that fork in the road, had no idea which way to go. They didn’t know where either path lead, and just chose a direction. The person behind them followed thinking they chose that way for a reason. Thousands of years later, no one even questions why they are going left. All they know is that this is the path everyone has taken for thousands of years. They take it without even considering other possibilities.

So is this still the best way to go, or maybe the other path has just never been explored.

“Umm…I wonder why no one has ever gone right?” You ask those around you. “Ha ha…go right? No one has ever taken the other path. You would be stupid to go that way.”

“But this path is not exactly a dream come true either.”

“Trust me, everyone before you has taken this path.”

So? Because that is the way everyone has always taken, that makes it the best way? Why? That doesn’t make sense. Just because it has never been traveled doesn’t mean it’s ridiculous, wrong, or stupid. It’s a path that has yet to be explored.

“Stupid eh…if not a single person has ever traveled it, then how would they know if it’s better or worse? I think I’m gonna try it.”

“Are you fucking crazy…ha…okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

This leads me to positive affirmations. “Oh boy, her and her crazy affirmations. That is so ridiculous.” Again, are they? Have you ever tried them? Then how do you know? They are the other path, the path yet to be traveled. What makes them so ridiculous? That is the question of the day.

Positive affirmations are said in my head, or maybe I say them out loud in the privacy of my car or home. I’m not standing before anyone and saying them in front of a crowd. They are personal. No one will make fun of me for saying them or thinking them. Nor will anyone ever know that I ever say them unless I tell them. So, what makes them so ridiculous? Seriously, ask yourself that. Maybe the only reason they seem ridiculous is because they are not the norm. If everyone was taught to say positive affirmations to themselves by their parents growing up, if everyone around you said positive affirmations as part of their daily routine, like brushing their teeth, would they still be ridiculous?

Why are we so scared to say nice things to ourselves? We certainly don’t think it’s ridiculous to be hateful to ourselves. “God, I can’t do anything right! I’m so stupid. I’m so ugly. I’m so fat. I hate my body. I hate my hair. I hate my life. I hate my job. I suck at this. I suck at everything.” That probably feels pretty normal. Why do those words get to be our norm?

“My life is an affirmation. I don’t need to say them.” Really? If you aren’t purposely setting aside time to think or say them, then how can your life be an affirmation? That’s like saying your life is a meditation but you never meditate. You never set aside time to just be in the present moment, to stop all that you are doing, but instead you are always busy and your mind is always busy, whether being consumed with TV, your computer, radio, work, phone, constantly doing and thinking.

Okay, let’s go over what exactly affirmations are. It’s like taking five minutes or maybe only one, or maybe multiple minutes throughout the day, and meditating. But it’s not technically meditating. You are setting aside time to purposely speak positive things to yourself, letting all the living things inside you know and the universe (or anything you believe in) know that you are open and receptive for all positive things to come flooding into your life.

For instance, I have a page of affirmations written down that I take a few minutes every morning, before I start working, to say quietly out loud to myself. Whenever I need to drive to the store, I will say a specific affirmation repeatedly out loud to myself from the time I get into my car until I reach my destination, and then again on my way home. I have another affirmation written on a sticky note, which is stuck to the front of my computer, and whenever I glance down at it, I say it.

Think about it. Our minds are the star of the show. I mean if I take my consciousness away, then what do I have left? Bones, organs, tissue, but there is nothing there to direct them or give them a purpose to live. The mind is how we move, learn, feel, experience and dream. So, why would I not make time to keep it healthy? And that is exactly what affirmations are, healthy food for our minds. It can help it function better, and in turn the healthier mind helps the body to function better and become healthier.

So, what’s another reason we may not want to do affirmations? Maybe subconsciously we don’t want to be healthy. I know, who doesn’t want to be healthy and feel good? But it’s kind of the same principle as a famous person getting bad publicity. “There's no such thing as bad publicity”. It is attention to that person either way. Maybe when we are sick, we get attention from those who care about us. And although we don’t want to be sick, the need for the attention from our loved ones exceeds the need to be healthy. Maybe whenever we have been hurting or not feeling well is the only time we received attention growing up, and because we never broke that addiction or cycle, we have continued that same frame of mind as an adult. Maybe you don’t even realize you do that. So maybe it’s time to start asking yourself what the real reason is you don’t want to be positive or say positive affirmations. Are you addicted to the negative publicity? Maybe it’s time to change that. It’s time to get attention for something good.

The bad kid is constantly getting reprimanded, the employee always gets called out for their mistakes, but the good kids, the employees who do a great job don’t get the same amount of recognition, if any at all. It’s time to be okay with not getting attention, to prefer to only get the good publicity. It’s time to change your life for the better and it can start by changing your frame of mind. Change the way you think about yourself. Change your mental habits to be healthier, and a healthier and happier you and lifestyle will follow.

I am very healthy.

I am going beyond other’s limitations and creating my own life.

I am prosperous.

I am open to change.

I am changing for the better.

I am open to a new position at a place I love to work.

I work at a place that allows me to express myself creatively.

I love my job.

I love my life.

I am open and a magnet for all the good in the universe.

I am open and a magnet for all the abundant prosperities in the universe.

I love myself.

Just because something has always been a certain way does not mean it’s the only way, nor the best way. I need to explore different ways of living, different ways of thinking, and explore the possibilities first before continuing the cycle of going in the same direction as thousands before me. Maybe the path that has always been taken, is just familiar because that is the way everyone has always gone. Maybe it’s not the best route but instead the route that’s known. It could even be the hardest route. But how will I ever know if I never check out another direction?

You and I have the power to change our lives for the better, but we can not be afraid to try something new, to explore a new idea, or to change. You and I can retrain our thoughts and start feeding our minds healthy food, and this will be the start to a new healthy and happy life. Don’t be scared of something different, because something different might just be the key to opening that door that changes your life for the better. You do want a better life don’t you? Is what you have been doing all your life working? Are you healthy and happy? If not, maybe it’s time for a change.

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